To say “feelings” in American culture is seen as a negative thing I feel is not correct. Yes, we are taught to control our emotions and not let them control us. I have been overseas in other cultures where it is encouraged to show ones feelings and emotions. They argue a lot and spend a lot of their day in open conflict with each other. I do not find this type of interaction as a positive thing. In our history, the males were taught to be tough and control their emotions. They had to be then. Danger was around every turn and one needed to be clear minded to deal with that danger. When a life and death situation presents itself to you, you need to deal with it immediately or perish. There is always time after the event to deal with your emotions. You cannot deal with them if you are dead. I have witnessed soldiers in Iraq who let their emotions control them during a firefight. At that moment they are of no use to the other members of the unit and at times others die or get seriously wounded trying to deal with them. They must control their thoughts and suppress them if they wish to live. Those soldiers are not suppressing their feelings to be more visibly in control. They are suppressing their feelings so they and their friends will make it out and back home. Emotional people make rash and costly decisions in most cases I think. It is ok to have feelings but not ok to allow your feelings to control you and the environment around you. To have feelings is a part of being human. How can that be negative? Allowing feelings and emotions to control you is negative.
Our text book talks about how we, as a culture, tend to downplay our emotions while in the public setting in order to appear more in control. I do not necessarily agree with this finding. I am witness to strangers expressing their emotions in public on a daily basis: couples yelling at each other, children shrieking with excitement at the sight of a cute puppy, parents disciplining their children for disobeying, relatives crying at the airport as they watch their loved ones fly away, etc. I don't see anything wrong with the expression of feelings in public. This goes to show that we are all alike. We all have these feelings at one time or another. It is not shameful to feel the way we do. We are all the same as the person standing right next to us. We are all living, breathing, emotional beings. Life is an emotional roller coaster. Why should we have to hide the way we are feeling?
Feelings! Growing up we heard “Don’t carry your feeling on your shoulders”. With that in mind I grew up not wanting to show my feelings to others. At work you should be able to maintain your composer even when you might be frustrated. It is important to be able to communicate in the working world without having to worry about hurting someone’s feeling in my opinion. Work needs to be able to get done and people should be able to communicate without putting people down or using words that are going to bring down your team. We should do our “JOB” and move on it is expected to be unemotional. Home is different we should show our families that we care and that we love them. This is my belief anyway. I think it is important to raise our kids with the ability to express their feelings and teach them to communicate in the “proper” ways. Examples would be not throwing fits or yelling and screaming at each other. This teaches them good communication skills for when they grow up. I think living in Oklahoma is a great opportunity because people here care about each other so having “feelings” are not always a bad thing.
In our textbook Thinking (2007), Gary Kirby and Jeffrey Goodpaster assert that “in this chapter (chapter 6), we scan our cultural context, which largely denigrates (considers something to be of little worth or importance), making them hard to understand and use” (p.115, para. 1). I do not agree with this statement. Our culture, now more than ever, has produced actors who have made us laugh, cry, hold on to the edge of our seats with fear and suspense, and etcetera. Actors such as Robin Williams, Tom Hanks, Richard Gere, and Julia Roberts have made viewers feel emotions such as joy, sorrow, fear, and suspense. However, I do believe that the emotions we feel are in a controlled environment, such as home or the movies. In a professional setting, we are expected to conduct ourselves with professionalism, controlling our emotions and feelings in order to accomplish the required tasks and duties on our jobs. Feelings have an important role in our lives, because without them we would not be able to show our family and loved ones how much we care for them. In addition, our ability to empathize with others is dependent on our emotions. I think God has created us with emotions so that we have an avenue of connecting with other people. I would not want to live in a world where we had to live like robots, without being able to express any emotions at all. Having the ability to experience and communicate our emotions to both ourselves and other is what makes us human. In the Bible, David was an emotional person, and in the book of Psalms he records all of the different feelings he experienced as he served the Lord. The emotions were not always positive, but when he was depressed, he would pray and talk to the Lord. Prayer, and his faith in God restored David to a positive emotional state. He talks about the joy that the Christian who puts their faith in God can experience. Since God is our provider and protector, we can place our trust in him and live our lives full of joy and contentment. In Psalm 5:11, David talks about the emotional state that is possible for the Christians who place their trust in God; “But let all those that puts their trust in thee (God) rejoice: let them ever shout for joy, because thou defendest them: let them also that love thy name be joyful in thee” (KJV).
In today’s world it is all too commonly heard that men should not show their emotions because it portrays them as weak and feminine. While women are known to be incredibly emotional on all subjects. In Businesses in our culture letting your feelings be known is not widely accepted. In Thinking it talks about how most businesses only allow “limited feelings”, to be expressed. In Church in our culture feelings are believed to lead to sin. But I don’t agree here, not all feelings lead to sin. A person can be excited, happy, and sad, but those emotions don’t mean the person is automatically going to be led to sin. Feelings in the Family are mush like that across our whole culture; boys should be manly and feel no emotion, and girls are allowed to be emotional up to the point of a tantrum. I do not really agree with all of these perspectives. By expressing our feelings we express who we are, men can be emotional it shows they care, and women can be strong and not crack under the littlest hint of bad news. In the business place I understand keeping emotions under control that is a professional environment and people should be even tempered there. As for in the Church, a lot of our faith is evoked by emotion. People often find God’s grace by breaking down and coming to an understanding, in moments like this a person is filled with emotion. I believe in the freedom of expression, and no one should be told it isn't acceptable to feel a certain way. There is a time and place from certain feelings, but we are driven in our daily lives by them.
Our text talks about displaying feelings in all areas of our lives, and when it is acceptable or appropriate to do so, according to our culture. (Thinking, Kirby & Goodpaster, chap 6) The accepted norm in the business world is cool, calm and collected. But I don’t see anything wrong with a smile of thanks for a job well done, a word with a smile of encouragement, or a just a smile of good morning. The tone in your voice should honor the one you are speaking to, in all aspects of life. Feelings in families – I am truly blessed. When our boys were in High School, there were days when I would drive them to school. They would want me to drop them at the main entrance and they were the ones who would lean over and give me a hug. Their friends would see that and call them on it. The boys’ response was a smile and, “Yeah, don’t you?” Sometimes we want to try and control our emotions because we are hurting and if we do say something we could be called irrational. Don’t do that. If you keep things locked up inside too much it can hurt a lot more. If you can’t talk to your loved ones, then talk to Father God, He’s got big shoulders and loving arms, but get it out. In most mainline churches, like the ones I grew up in, one is to be quiet and to control one’s emotions. I can see where that attitude came from. In God’s word, Paul speaks of the different pagan temples throughout Asia and the lack of control of the followers. But when I think of what Jesus did for me, the blessings he is pouring out, and the fact that He says He will come again and take us with Him to heaven, I can’t help but shout Hallelujah!! When we go to a sports game, we cheer our team on and it gets pretty noisy. Also at a game, even though it is called poor sportsmanship, we tend to heckle the opposing team. Well, at our church we are not exactly holy-rollers, but we do like to make sure the King of Glory hears our praises and that the opposing team hears them too. Tears do roll, some of them tears of repentance and some tears of joy. “If we think happy thoughts, we are more likely to feel happy – it’s the old adage, do we choose to see the glass as half full?” (Kirby, Thinking, pg 119)
I used to have a problem with displaying my feeling at work. But, since I have been working at my new job; there is time that I will have no problem discussing my emotional feelings with a client or coworker at work. I believed there is nothing wrong with being emotional at the job as long as you are in control of your emotions. The prevailing wisdom says that difficult thoughts and feelings have no place at the office: Executives, and particularly leaders, should be either stoic or cheerful; they must project confidence and damp down any negativity bubbling up inside them. But that goes against basic biology. All healthy human beings have an inner stream of thoughts and feelings that include criticism, doubt, and fear. That’s just our minds doing the job they were designed to do: trying to anticipate and solve problems and avoid potential pitfalls. (http://hbr.org/2013/11/emotional-agility/ar/1)
When we were young children we were taught to speak when spoken to. Also whatever we were feeling could not be expressed unless asked to express them and that would not be often. The older I have become they more I express my feelings. At the work place I will express my feelings if there are any concerns I am having. Today society is very offended easily so I do try to be careful when I am addressing others. Emotions can get the best of people and can cause a very big problem. If you are a manager or supervisor you have to watch your body language, face expressions and the way you speak to keep you out of a law suit. Employees have to also respect other coworker’s personal space, you have to be careful of the conversations you have with one another something can always be taken out of character. We have to learn to control our emotions and respect the feelings of others.
Growing up, I was taught that men don't show much emotion. We don't cry or express our feelings. I don't think I have heard my father say I love you more then a couple times in my life. I know he does but that's how he was raised. Also spankings and such form of discipline was ordinary for my everyday life. The culture now is we don't spank and parents are more vocal and communicative with their children.
Our culture accepts and rejects feelings based on our beliefs, prejudices, and even values. In our culture we generally have a downgrade of feelings and emphasis upon the mind, emotional restraint, and toughness that can be seen in the business world, the church and the family. (Kirby, 2007) When we think of businesses, we think of phrases that would imply limited feelings. For example, it would be along the line of stoicism or strict control. In the church the reading suggests that feelings can lead us into trouble called sin. If feelings go into excess, it can tempt the mind and lead people astray. In families it separates male and female in the reading. Boys are to control their feelings and not be a whip, where girls have more leeway, but are not to get hysterical or throw tantrums. It mentions the relationship between reason and feeling are "an eternal battle". I agree that as a whole our culture accepts and rejects feelings this way. It is not how I personally believe or view it.
It is true that the American culture has issues with expressing emotions in public and we encourage Americans to suppress their emotions. Expressing your love, sadness, or anger in public places is viewed has unprofessional and disrespectful. Our American culture teaches us to control our emotions in public. Our thoughts influence our emotions. Expressing an unacceptable emotion can easily be changed with a positive/appropriate emotion. “With repetition, habits form, and we may develop more frequent, more regular patterns of thinking that produce the emotions we wish. Think and your feelings will follow.” [Kirby & Goodpaster, 2007] A large majority of businesses in America encourage their employees to suppress their emotions, when attending work. When an employee comes to work with a bad attitude it creates a negative environment for the rest of the employees. The negative environment is frowned upon by business owners, thus forcing them to encourage their employees to suppress their emotions.
Emotion can be defined as an affective state of consciousness in which joy, sorrow, fear, hate, or the like, is experienced, as distinguished from cognitive and volitional (Bingdictionary.com). There are a lot of people who have many different types of emotions. There are some emotions that are caused just by our thoughts. If we concentrate and think of something sad long enough, sadness can overwhelm us. Many people try and suppress their emotions for many reasons, one is because no one likes the feeling of sadness. Sadness is a term associated with depression Thoughts can also become emotions when we tend to dwell on them. The thing about emotions is they can be very strongly felt and sometimes last for awhile. I tend to strongly believe in the feelings of happiness and joy. I believe that happiness and joy can overcome most all things. It was hard for me to change my thinking and allow good emotions to take over but when you smile, as they say, the world will smile with you. I learned to put my hatred and anger on the back burner because anger will only keep you unhappy. I chose the other route and that is to stay positive and happy, keep my emotions under my control and not others. Fear to me can be the worst emotion of them all because this emotion can and will cause you to be so afraid until you injure yourself. So as strange as it may seem, emotions are very strong feelings and should be kept under control as much as possible.
To say “feelings” in American culture is seen as a negative thing I feel is not correct. Yes, we are taught to control our emotions and not let them control us. I have been overseas in other cultures where it is encouraged to show ones feelings and emotions. They argue a lot and spend a lot of their day in open conflict with each other. I do not find this type of interaction as a positive thing.
ReplyDeleteIn our history, the males were taught to be tough and control their emotions. They had to be then. Danger was around every turn and one needed to be clear minded to deal with that danger. When a life and death situation presents itself to you, you need to deal with it immediately or perish. There is always time after the event to deal with your emotions. You cannot deal with them if you are dead.
I have witnessed soldiers in Iraq who let their emotions control them during a firefight. At that moment they are of no use to the other members of the unit and at times others die or get seriously wounded trying to deal with them. They must control their thoughts and suppress them if they wish to live.
Those soldiers are not suppressing their feelings to be more visibly in control. They are suppressing their feelings so they and their friends will make it out and back home.
Emotional people make rash and costly decisions in most cases I think. It is ok to have feelings but not ok to allow your feelings to control you and the environment around you. To have feelings is a part of being human. How can that be negative? Allowing feelings and emotions to control you is negative.
Our text book talks about how we, as a culture, tend to downplay our emotions while in the public setting in order to appear more in control. I do not necessarily agree with this finding. I am witness to strangers expressing their emotions in public on a daily basis: couples yelling at each other, children shrieking with excitement at the sight of a cute puppy, parents disciplining their children for disobeying, relatives crying at the airport as they watch their loved ones fly away, etc. I don't see anything wrong with the expression of feelings in public. This goes to show that we are all alike. We all have these feelings at one time or another. It is not shameful to feel the way we do. We are all the same as the person standing right next to us. We are all living, breathing, emotional beings. Life is an emotional roller coaster. Why should we have to hide the way we are feeling?
ReplyDeleteFeelings!
ReplyDeleteGrowing up we heard “Don’t carry your feeling on your shoulders”. With that in mind I grew up not wanting to show my feelings to others. At work you should be able to maintain your composer even when you might be frustrated. It is important to be able to communicate in the working world without having to worry about hurting someone’s feeling in my opinion. Work needs to be able to get done and people should be able to communicate without putting people down or using words that are going to bring down your team. We should do our “JOB” and move on it is expected to be unemotional.
Home is different we should show our families that we care and that we love them. This is my belief anyway. I think it is important to raise our kids with the ability to express their feelings and teach them to communicate in the “proper” ways. Examples would be not throwing fits or yelling and screaming at each other. This teaches them good communication skills for when they grow up.
I think living in Oklahoma is a great opportunity because people here care about each other so having “feelings” are not always a bad thing.
In our textbook Thinking (2007), Gary Kirby and Jeffrey Goodpaster assert that “in this chapter (chapter 6), we scan our cultural context, which largely denigrates (considers something to be of little worth or importance), making them hard to understand and use” (p.115, para. 1). I do not agree with this statement. Our culture, now more than ever, has produced actors who have made us laugh, cry, hold on to the edge of our seats with fear and suspense, and etcetera.
ReplyDeleteActors such as Robin Williams, Tom Hanks, Richard Gere, and Julia Roberts have made viewers feel emotions such as joy, sorrow, fear, and suspense. However, I do believe that the emotions we feel are in a controlled environment, such as home or the movies. In a professional setting, we are expected to conduct ourselves with professionalism, controlling our emotions and feelings in order to accomplish the required tasks and duties on our jobs.
Feelings have an important role in our lives, because without them we would not be able to show our family and loved ones how much we care for them. In addition, our ability to empathize with others is dependent on our emotions. I think God has created us with emotions so that we have an avenue of connecting with other people. I would not want to live in a world where we had to live like robots, without being able to express any emotions at all. Having the ability to experience and communicate our emotions to both ourselves and other is what makes us human.
In the Bible, David was an emotional person, and in the book of Psalms he records all of the different feelings he experienced as he served the Lord. The emotions were not always positive, but when he was depressed, he would pray and talk to the Lord. Prayer, and his faith in God restored David to a positive emotional state. He talks about the joy that the Christian who puts their faith in God can experience. Since God is our provider and protector, we can place our trust in him and live our lives full of joy and contentment. In Psalm 5:11, David talks about the emotional state that is possible for the Christians who place their trust in God; “But let all those that puts their trust in thee (God) rejoice: let them ever shout for joy, because thou defendest them: let them also that love thy name be joyful in thee” (KJV).
In today’s world it is all too commonly heard that men should not show their emotions because it portrays them as weak and feminine. While women are known to be incredibly emotional on all subjects. In Businesses in our culture letting your feelings be known is not widely accepted. In Thinking it talks about how most businesses only allow “limited feelings”, to be expressed. In Church in our culture feelings are believed to lead to sin. But I don’t agree here, not all feelings lead to sin. A person can be excited, happy, and sad, but those emotions don’t mean the person is automatically going to be led to sin. Feelings in the Family are mush like that across our whole culture; boys should be manly and feel no emotion, and girls are allowed to be emotional up to the point of a tantrum. I do not really agree with all of these perspectives. By expressing our feelings we express who we are, men can be emotional it shows they care, and women can be strong and not crack under the littlest hint of bad news. In the business place I understand keeping emotions under control that is a professional environment and people should be even tempered there. As for in the Church, a lot of our faith is evoked by emotion. People often find God’s grace by breaking down and coming to an understanding, in moments like this a person is filled with emotion. I believe in the freedom of expression, and no one should be told it isn't acceptable to feel a certain way. There is a time and place from certain feelings, but we are driven in our daily lives by them.
ReplyDeleteOur text talks about displaying feelings in all areas of our lives, and when it is acceptable or appropriate to do so, according to our culture. (Thinking, Kirby & Goodpaster, chap 6)
ReplyDeleteThe accepted norm in the business world is cool, calm and collected. But I don’t see anything wrong with a smile of thanks for a job well done, a word with a smile of encouragement, or a just a smile of good morning. The tone in your voice should honor the one you are speaking to, in all aspects of life.
Feelings in families – I am truly blessed. When our boys were in High School, there were days when I would drive them to school. They would want me to drop them at the main entrance and they were the ones who would lean over and give me a hug. Their friends would see that and call them on it. The boys’ response was a smile and, “Yeah, don’t you?” Sometimes we want to try and control our emotions because we are hurting and if we do say something we could be called irrational. Don’t do that. If you keep things locked up inside too much it can hurt a lot more. If you can’t talk to your loved ones, then talk to Father God, He’s got big shoulders and loving arms, but get it out.
In most mainline churches, like the ones I grew up in, one is to be quiet and to control one’s emotions. I can see where that attitude came from. In God’s word, Paul speaks of the different pagan temples throughout Asia and the lack of control of the followers. But when I think of what Jesus did for me, the blessings he is pouring out, and the fact that He says He will come again and take us with Him to heaven, I can’t help but shout Hallelujah!! When we go to a sports game, we cheer our team on and it gets pretty noisy. Also at a game, even though it is called poor sportsmanship, we tend to heckle the opposing team. Well, at our church we are not exactly holy-rollers, but we do like to make sure the King of Glory hears our praises and that the opposing team hears them too. Tears do roll, some of them tears of repentance and some tears of joy.
“If we think happy thoughts, we are more likely to feel happy – it’s the old adage, do we choose to see the glass as half full?” (Kirby, Thinking, pg 119)
I used to have a problem with displaying my feeling at work. But, since I have been working at my new job; there is time that I will have no problem discussing my emotional feelings with a client or coworker at work. I believed there is nothing wrong with being emotional at the job as long as you are in control of your emotions. The prevailing wisdom says that difficult thoughts and feelings have no place at the office: Executives, and particularly leaders, should be either stoic or cheerful; they must project confidence and damp down any negativity bubbling up inside them. But that goes against basic biology. All healthy human beings have an inner stream of thoughts and feelings that include criticism, doubt, and fear. That’s just our minds doing the job they were designed to do: trying to anticipate and solve problems and avoid potential pitfalls. (http://hbr.org/2013/11/emotional-agility/ar/1)
ReplyDeleteWhen we were young children we were taught to speak when spoken to. Also whatever we were feeling could not be expressed unless asked to express them and that would not be often. The older I have become they more I express my feelings. At the work place I will express my feelings if there are any concerns I am having. Today society is very offended easily so I do try to be careful when I am addressing others. Emotions can get the best of people and can cause a very big problem. If you are a manager or supervisor you have to watch your body language, face expressions and the way you speak to keep you out of a law suit. Employees have to also respect other coworker’s personal space, you have to be careful of the conversations you have with one another something can always be taken out of character. We have to learn to control our emotions and respect the feelings of others.
ReplyDeleteGrowing up, I was taught that men don't show much emotion. We don't cry or express our feelings. I don't think I have heard my father say I love you more then a couple times in my life. I know he does but that's how he was raised. Also spankings and such form of discipline was ordinary for my everyday life. The culture now is we don't spank and parents are more vocal and communicative with their children.
ReplyDeleteOur culture accepts and rejects feelings based on our beliefs, prejudices, and even values. In our culture we generally have a downgrade of feelings and emphasis upon the mind, emotional restraint, and toughness that can be seen in the business world, the church and the family. (Kirby, 2007) When we think of businesses, we think of phrases that would imply limited feelings. For example, it would be along the line of stoicism or strict control. In the church the reading suggests that feelings can lead us into trouble called sin. If feelings go into excess, it can tempt the mind and lead people astray. In families it separates male and female in the reading. Boys are to control their feelings and not be a whip, where girls have more leeway, but are not to get hysterical or throw tantrums. It mentions the relationship between reason and feeling are "an eternal battle". I agree that as a whole our culture accepts and rejects feelings this way. It is not how I personally believe or view it.
ReplyDeleteIt is true that the American culture has issues with expressing emotions in public and we encourage Americans to suppress their emotions. Expressing your love, sadness, or anger in public places is viewed has unprofessional and disrespectful. Our American culture teaches us to control our emotions in public. Our thoughts influence our emotions. Expressing an unacceptable emotion can easily be changed with a positive/appropriate emotion. “With repetition, habits form, and we may develop more frequent, more regular patterns of thinking that produce the emotions we wish. Think and your feelings will follow.” [Kirby & Goodpaster, 2007]
ReplyDeleteA large majority of businesses in America encourage their employees to suppress their emotions, when attending work. When an employee comes to work with a bad attitude it creates a negative environment for the rest of the employees. The negative environment is frowned upon by business owners, thus forcing them to encourage their employees to suppress their emotions.
Emotion can be defined as an affective state of consciousness in which joy, sorrow, fear, hate, or the like, is experienced, as distinguished from cognitive and volitional (Bingdictionary.com). There are a lot of people who have many different types of emotions. There are some emotions that are caused just by our thoughts. If we concentrate and think of something sad long enough, sadness can overwhelm us. Many people try and suppress their emotions for many reasons, one is because no one likes the feeling of sadness. Sadness is a term associated with depression Thoughts can also become emotions when we tend to dwell on them. The thing about emotions is they can be very strongly felt and sometimes last for awhile. I tend to strongly believe in the feelings of happiness and joy. I believe that happiness and joy can overcome most all things. It was hard for me to change my thinking and allow good emotions to take over but when you smile, as they say, the world will smile with you. I learned to put my hatred and anger on the back burner because anger will only keep you unhappy. I chose the other route and that is to stay positive and happy, keep my emotions under my control and not others. Fear to me can be the worst emotion of them all because this emotion can and will cause you to be so afraid until you injure yourself. So as strange as it may seem, emotions are very strong feelings and should be kept under control as much as possible.
ReplyDelete